025: Discipline Amidst The Heartbreak
Everything felt like slow motion, and there was a wrenching tightness in my chest that just wouldn't let up.
My head felt like someone had taken a vice and tightened it right around my temples and my forehead.
The pressure was overwhelming, and my palms were sweaty with fear as I contemplated what was in front of me.
It had been a difficult week on the home front, after a few conversations that left me feeling far from motivated about showing up for this business, and showing up for the tasks that needed to be done to keep thing moving in a positive direction.
It's in moments like these that every part of your mind will scream to "leave me the fuck alone!", or play out an internal dialogue more akin to "yep, it's finally that time, lets go retreat to the mountaintop and become a hermit, this shit isn't worth it".
Emotionally, I was feeling heartbroken, and confused by the events in my life.
I hadn't gotten more than than 4 hours of sleep for three nights straight, and the more I tried to pull myself back into the mindset of "let's just make this a normal day", the more my mind protested with thoughts like "who are you kidding, Phil - this is far from a normal day".
Ever had these type of thoughts?
And in these moments, there was a part of me that just wanted to roll with "it's ok, let's just throw a sad Bon Iver song on Spotify, and let the world go for a minute".
And at the same time, there was the wise, grounded part that was feeling a bit wounded, but still recognized that while its OK to give yourself some space and time to move through difficult life situations, the reality is that if you are an entrepreneur, you've still got to find the strength to show up for yourself and the people you are here to serve.
It's a hard place to be.
In times like these, business doesn't always feel inspiring, and it's really hard to connect with the energy and motivation thats usually flowing when you are at your best and feeling powerful.
Even if you are fortunate enough to be able to connect with your highest purpose in these moments, you might also be confronted with self-defeating thoughts akin to "who am I am to be leading right now when I can't even keep my own shit together?".
The negative self-talk can be brutal.
So what do you do in these moments?
How do you rise amidst difficult life circumstances and find the inner fire to show up during times of trouble and keep moving towards your goals, even if your pace has been reduced to a crawl?
This is where discipline becomes your most powerful ally.
Discipline is the answer when motivation isn't enough. It's the force that helps you show up, even when every part of you wants to retreat.
It's the commitment to your goals and dreams, regardless of the circumstances. It's the recognition that, even in times of emotional turmoil, there are still tasks to be accomplished, and responsibilities to be met.
Discipline is not about ignoring your feelings, or pretending that everything is okay when it's not.
It's about acknowledging your feelings, accepting them, and then choosing to take action regardless. It's about understanding that your feelings are important, but they don't have to fully dictate your actions.
That being said, i'm not suggesting we should take a cold, robotic stance to life pushing and plowing ahead like a Terminator.
It's 100% ok to slow down in challenging times, to allow yourself space to process emotions, and take the time to put more focus on yourself.
One analogy might be finding yourself out at sea without a life vest, and your boat has capsized miles from the closest shore.
What would you do in this situation?
Chances are you wouldn't give up and just allow yourself to sink like a rock to the bottom of the ocean.
You also wouldn't pretend you were in the safety of an olympic pool, and start swimming at your best lap pace.
No, you would likely float.
Conserve your energy, while expending the minimal amount of energy required to keep your head above water.
Like this, you can use discipline to keep showing up, and allow discernment to guide you to finding the right pace in your work.
What are the critical things that need to keep moving forward, and what are the rocks you can just drop for a while that will be OK waiting until you regain your strength and full motivation?
These are also times when having good structures and organization in your business can be a huge support.
These things are important in the best of times, but during any sort of crisis, being able to just allow yourself "run the routine on my calendar" without having to think too much can be super helpful.
For me this looked like holding the discipline of three key habits I've cultivated for myself in business:
- 2 90-minute Daily Sacred Focus Sessions (one solo and one with Carolina). I applied discipline to keep showing up for these to get my most critical tasks of the week done, and then outside of this structure I allowed myself more grace to be flexible with my time, and to follow my energy. If I felt like doing more, I would do more. If I felt like being sad and frustrated on the couch, I allowed myself to be sad.
- My Daily Review Process. No matter how I was feeling during these difficult days, I held myself accountable to my self and Carolina to complete this mental check-in process, to reflect on where resistance was showing in my day, what my wins were, where I had room to improve, what was the next priority, and to find at least three things to be grateful for. The most important thing here is to be honest with where you are at, and to reflect that back truthfully to yourself. In difficult times, this process allows me to clarify where I can still find the strength to put one foot in front of the other and make meaningful progress, and also to see the small moments of beauty and positivity that are still present when things feel a bit dark.
- Keeping up Spiritual Practice. I made sure to keep up my personal practices, which include some form of daily yoga, meditation, or breath work. It's easy to let this habit slide when things are tough, but that's when you likely need it the most. In all honestly, my practices were not perfect during this time, but making sure to prioritize some connection with the divine is something I consistently fall back on during hard time.
When you allow yourself to find a foothold with small disciplined actions like these, you might be surprised at how quickly you start to feel better.
Your whole vibe will start to improve when you give yourself evidence that you still have the capacity to show up for yourself and the people you care about.
I also found comfort in the knowledge that we all have bad days, weeks, even months. We all stumble, we all fall, and we all have moments when we question our worth, our abilities, and our path.
But these moments also present a powerful opportunity to really bare witness to our inner strength, and to see how capable we really are.
To see that we've got this.
And as I began to witness this strength inside of me, I began to feel the energy shifting within me. The heavy weight in my chest started to lighten, the fog in my mind began to clear, and my heart began to open.
I started to see the beauty in my struggle, the lessons in my pain, and the growth in my discomfort.
And I started to reconnect with the truth that my work isn't just about me, its for every other person who has felt lost, broke, or defeated along the path of being an entrepreneur.
It's for every person who has ever stood at a crossroads with a difficult choice to make, uncertain of which path to take.
It's for every person who has dared to dream, to hope, to love, and to choose to live.
And as I connected with the powerful energy of love, everything felt just a little bit lighter.
And so, I pass this message on to you.
Remember, discipline can be the key that unlocks your next step forward when motivation isn't enough.
Let it guide you towards your light.
P.S.- If you would like some help working with Carolina and I on cultivating your own practice of discipline, we’re opening up the space for 5 conversations this month about our Be The Flow Coaching Program where we guide you through a holistic process of creating an action plan for growing your business, while being supported and held accountable to showing up powerfully in service to your highest vision as the true you.
Join us for a Harmony Map Discovery Call
Haven’t taken the quiz yet? You can do so here.
Happenings
We're in Puerto Viejo this weekend for another VIP Weekend!
We are in beautiful Puerto Viejo, Costa Rica on the Caribbean coast supporting Dr. Janice Powis of Mind Over Tinnitus in creating some exciting new offers!
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We've been featured on the Being Brave Podcast w/ Sasha Lipskaia on the topic of having the courage to trust your Heart ...
Carolina and I joined Sasha for an enlightening, inspiring conversation on following your bliss in life and business.
If you are a creative, heart-led business owner, I hope you will appreciate the message shared in our conversation about why the only way to create a business led by your soul's purpose is to follow your deepest desire, reveal and embody your heart's truth, and create a foundation of integrity and devotion to your vision.
From this place, you can serve the world and receive the abundance that is your birthright in honoring your true calling.
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Who We Are Celebrating This Week: Eric Klein
I met Eric while on a retreat in Encinitas, California when we went to his house for a beautiful afternoon of chanting, meditation, and community.
He and his wife, Devi are ordained lineage holders in the Kriya yoga tradition. They have been practicing and teaching this path for over 49 years together. Inspiring!
Carolina and I recently signed up for his 10-month Chakra School program which explores, in depth, how the chakras energies, qualities, and intelligence are expressed through:
- Thoughts and emotions
- Body sensations and behaviors
- Interpersonal dynamics
- Myths and dreams
- Astrological symbols
- Real life ease and/or struggles
We are both excited to learn from his wisdom!
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Things I'd Like to Share
Internet Marketing Party! (Click Here)
I am excited to be attending our first Internet Marketing Party in Austin, on Thursday, March 14th. I met the founder, David Gonzalez a few years back at an event in Colombia and ever since I've been trying to make my way to what is considered one of the most epic events in the online industry.
It's finally happening! If you are going to be in the Austin area during this time, come say hello!
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From the Core (Click Here)
I'm not a stranger to John Wineland's work, but I hadn't really explored it deeply until recently. I'm really enjoying his new book, "From the Core", which shares a new perspective on leading with love, living your truth, and healing the world.
I highly recommend checking it out!
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